Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Confusion is mightier than the pen

Well it's been a while since I sat down and spewed forth some words. I am on a confused path; information is coming in, messing with my wiring and stopping anything from coming out. Roadblocks are everywhere and yet I can see myself, equipped with hard hat and thermus, as the one who is setting them up.

Why is there so much information for us to deal with? How did things get to be this way? Are we the luckiest group of (western) humans to ever live or are we constructing a society and a style of living that is going to overwhelm us in the end?

I am reading 'Cloud Atlas' by David Mitchell. Is that part of the problem? It's a daringly written, (SEE show-off of a novel, troublesome to a would be scribe for two reasons - one being that it reveals a negative view of the future that she already fears - the second being that the author writes a series of different but subtley intertwined stories in completely different voices and genres and they are all fantastic. You want to read more of all of them. How intimidating is that? Can this Mitchell lad not be great at just one style? Oi Vei?

Anyhow ... while this lonely blog is designed as a writing tool I am weakening into mundane jouralling on this still, grey morning. I need to nut some things out and sometimes writing is the only way to do this - for me at least.

I think the problem is that I am constantly out on fact finding missions. I am at a point in life where I have the time and will and stimulus to investigate new topics, other people's opinions, other people's way of living and now I am getting confused. Perhaps it is time to STOP the information overload. Perhaps it is time to concentrate more about how I want to live, how I like to live, how I need to live and stop comparing myself to others. The funny thing is, often when I think I have come across someone who has it all sewn up, a breeze will blow and their threadbare slip will show, I will see their humanity and all its weaknesses.

What could a plan be?

1) Maintain good physical health as that brings mental clarity and the ability to pursue dreams and goals.

2) Hang out with people who make me feel happy, loved, amused and relaxed.

3) Focus more on intimate relationships.

4) Spend time on my own projects, thoughts and creativity rather than other people's. Keep a list of information I want to mine but don't pursue it at the moment. There will be time!

God, what a lot of head near sphincter analysis. I feel better for it though. I feel so much better I think I had better go and do some work.

If you are reading this and can identify with any of it then I offer you my most sincere hopes for peace and serenity. I know how much your chest can ache without those things.


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